


Where the Heart Is

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-02-20
Packaged: 2018-01-13 03:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1210753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“When you cry it kills me, kiddo, from the very first time.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where the Heart Is

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Jayne Atkinson’s birthday because I love her the mostest.

“Erin? Hey baby, are you home?”

“I'm here.”

She ran from the kitchen to the front of the house when she heard Dave’s voice. About halfway there, Erin stopped. The two of them looked at each other.

“What’s the matter?” Dave asked.

“It just got very 50s housewife for a moment. You come in and I come running. The thought literally stopped me in my tracks.”

“If this were the 1950s, you'd be wearing a designer dress, pearls, and be waiting for me with hot dinner and a cocktail.”

“Don’t push it, Rossi.” Erin smiled.

“Happy birthday, baby.” He held out the flowers.

“Oh my God, they're beautiful.”

She walked over and took the flowers from his hand. Before inhaling their scent, Erin leaned and kissed her husband. She liked it so much that she had to do it again. Dave stroked her cheek, indulging in one more kiss before the flowers got her full attention. 

He spent a lot of money on the two dozen roses. Not that money mattered to him where Erin was concerned. One dozen was purple, Erin’s favorite color, and the other dozen white. She pulled Dave into a hug, holding him tight. He'd actually just flown back from Augusta, Maine this morning where the BAU was working a case.

“One dozen is for Valentine’s Day.” He murmured as his lips traced her hairline. “I'm sorry I couldn’t be here.”

“It’s the nature of the beast. Mum took the train down and we had a lovely weekend. As long as you didn’t miss my birthday; that’s what matters to me.”

“One of these years that might not work out for us.”

“It’s not this year,” Erin shook her head. “So I don’t care. I need to put these in water. There's something in the kitchen and we need to talk about it.”

“Something in the kitchen?” Dave raised his eyebrow as he took her hand. “Is it a good something or a god awful something?”

“It’s just a something.”

She walked further into the kitchen but Dave stopped near the door. Mudgie was eating at his food bowl. Dave knew from experience that the retriever wasn’t going to stop for oxygen, much less to acknowledge his presence. There was a smaller dog beside him; he was probably half Mudgie’s size. With a dirty appearance and matted fur, he was just as interested in his food as his new companion.

“Well hello there something.” Dave said. He put his soft leather briefcase and gift bag on the table.

“I didn’t know what else to do.” Erin said. “I've seen him around the neighborhood for the past month. He rummages through trash cans and runs through yards. He even huddled under our porch on those rainy or snowy nights. It’s clear he's homeless…no collar and I doubt he has a chip.”

“He is a bit raggedy. Did he come to you or was it the other way around?”

“I was smoking last night on the deck and he just walked right up. I wanted to shoo him away but he just looked so weary. And Mudgie took to him immediately. It’s not forever; I want to take him to the pound in a couple of days.”

“He seriously needs a bath.” Dave made a face.

“I know, but I didn’t want to do it on my own.” Erin said. “He seems relatively mellow but when you mix dogs and bathwater you have no idea what's going to happen.”

“True. And Mudgie’s been OK with this?”

“They’ve been together all day. I was surprised too but Mudgie seems protective. I don't know if he’s a boy or girl. While not knowing exactly where to look, touching Scruff right now makes me feel a little skeevy. We’ll know more after his bath.”

“You named him?” Dave asked.

“Hmm?” Erin put her flowers in a vase half-filled with water. She would put them on her bedside table later in the evening. They were really beautiful and smelled amazing.

“You named him, baby.”

“No I just…well I guess I named him. It’s not a big deal but I just couldn’t call him Dog. I think that would’ve been strange for the both of us.”

“Once you name something it’s very hard to give it away.”

“I'm sure I’ll be just fine.” Erin said.

“Mmm hmm. Well you’ve got a very big heart, Erin Strauss. You really want to spend your birthday washing a dog?”

“It shouldn’t take too long. We can get all flushed and sweaty and then…get all flushed and sweaty.”

“You're speaking my language, woman.”

Dave smiled and sat down at the table. He called both dogs over, Mudgie and the newly anointed Scruff, and they came to him. He felt on the mutt’s neck and collarbone area but there was no bump indicating microchip insertion. He was passive and friendly, a good sign that he hadn’t been abandoned forever. Erin said she’d seen him around for at least a month but Dave never had. 

The poor guy probably had fleas. They didn’t need to be passed on to Mudgie. Scruff could’ve had worms or worse…he was underweight as well. A bath and some TLC were in order. Dave already knew he was the newest member of their family.

“Is he alright?” Erin asked. She poured herself a glass of Chateau Ste. Michelle Riesling.

“I'm no vet but superficially he seems fine. There are no open wounds, though a B-A-T-H will reveal more. No broken bones or tender areas either. He's not micro chipped but not feral either. At one time or another this little guy had regular human interaction. We better get him in the T-U-B.”

“Why are you spelling words, David?”

“Dogs know things. They're like children in that way.” He replied standing up. He picked the mutt up in his arms with little protest. “I don’t want him to get wind of the plan and take off.”

“I have everything ready in the downstairs guest bathroom.” Erin said.

“Containment is a good plan.” He nodded. “We better get to it.”

They went to the guest room and into the bathroom. The dog known as Scruff was in Dave’s arms and Mudgie was in tow. He sat down by the door, watching the whole thing go down. He always stayed with Erin when she ran water and took a bath. He never had to worry about it being for him because Dave washed him with the hose outside in a tub.

Erin didn’t put much water in the tub, just enough to get Scruff wet. Dave was gentle when he placed him in the tub. The mutt didn’t thrash or fight, even after he was shin deep in water. He looked miserable but accepted his fate.

“This is for your own good, buddy.” Dave said filling a cup with warm water and pouring it over the dog. All of his movements were slow and deliberate. He knew from experience that a dog could go from relaxed to rapscallion in about 45 seconds. Pouring anti-flea shampoo into his hands, Dave lathered it up and began to wash the dog. Scruff protested a bit but remained mostly calm.

“He's really docile.” Erin said.

“I feel as if the other shoe will drop soon enough.”

“As long as it’s not one of my $500 pair of shoes like a certain other dog I know and love, I’ll be OK with it.”

Dave smiled but didn’t have a chance to answer. The cell phone in Erin’s pocket buzzed. She pulled out the Samsung and held it to her ear.

“Hey Marjorie.”

“Erin, I don't want you to worry…”

“What happened?” she stood from in front of the tub.

Dave knew that tone. That tone meant something was wrong or that Erin seriously thought there might be. He gave Scruff a few more rigorous scrubs and began rinsing him.

“We had to bring Kirk to the hospital.”

“What happened?” Erin’s voice became more frantic.

“He was having chest pains so I called an ambulance. We’re at GW but I'm not entirely sure what the diagnosis or prognosis is.”

 _Why do you sound so damn calm_ , Erin’s mind screamed. _I'm about to lose my mind_.

“Was he conscious in the ambulance?”

“He was conscious enough to tell me not to worry anyone. I called Stephen but not the other boys yet. He only has to drive from Richmond.”

“I'm on your way, Marjorie.” Erin rushed out of the bathroom. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Alright.”

“What happened?” Dave asked. He came into the bedroom a few minutes later. Erin rushed to put on something a bit more presentable than pink tights and an oversized thermal sweater.

“They rushed Kirk to the hospital.” Erin pulled the long sleeved tee shirt over her head.

“Do you want me to go with you?” he tried to control his voice. Dave was worried but he knew taking care of Erin was a top priority.

“Yeah, because I'm not…I can't really…oh my God…”

Her hands were shaking so badly that she dropped the hair tie she was holding. Dave left Scruff on the bed wrapped in a towel. Mudgie sat close by. He picked up the accessory, taking both of her hands in his.

“Breathe deeply.”

“I can't.” Erin tried, she was afraid that she would hyperventilate. She shook her head. As hard as she was trying to suck up the tears they threatened to overwhelm her.

“Erin, you should…”

“David, I love you but cut the bullshit and get me to Kirk right now. He's at GW.”

Dave nodded, putting his arm around her as they left the bedroom. So far tonight nothing had gone as planned. He’d heard of monkey wrenches but this was one of the biggest one in Dave’s life in some time. This wasn’t about him though. 

This was Erin’s day and this was her pain. He’d known Kirk longer than she had…the men were close friends. But what he had with Erin was completely different. Dave knew that and planned to respect all that it meant.

***

“Marjorie?” Erin rushed down the hall and straight into the woman’s arms.

“I'm still waiting for the doctors to come back and give me more information.”

“They just left you here?” Erin asked. She sat down on the waiting room couch with her after Dave kissed Marjorie hello.

“They took him in the back for tests. They're sure it was a heart attack but now they have to see just how much damage it caused. When I realized what was happening, I gave him an aspirin.”

“A heart attack.” Erin bit her lip. She rolled her eyes back, tried to stop the tears. “He had a heart attack.”

“Did you notice any symptoms lately?” Dave asked.

“Fatigue is a major symptom.” Marjorie replied. “But he's not young anymore so that’s to be expected. Kirk doesn’t hide things from me so if something else was wrong I would’ve known. Though I can imagine there were some lighter symptoms he may have ignored. He may have associated them with being exhausted.”

“Do you want me to go and shake someone up?” Dave asked.

“No,” Marjorie shook her head. “They know they have the Deputy Director of the FBI back there. I'm sure they're being thorough and that’s what I want. I would love a cup of tea, Dave.”

“Of course. Erin, would you like something?”

“No.” she shook her head. “Was he conscious when they took him back there, Marjorie?”

“He was slightly disoriented but vocal. He blew me a kiss.”

“Are you scared?”

“I'm petrified.” Marjorie squeezed her hand. “I was 22 years old and fresh out of college when I met Kirk. We married quickly. I remember my mother saying, ‘Marjorie, divorce is highly frowned upon. Please be sure you know’. I knew. 

“I honestly think the reason I turned him down so many times was that I was crazy about him. Back then when you married you became a wife…you didn’t keep working. I didn’t want to lose that freedom when I’d just gotten it. But he had my heart from the very start. We have good years left, Erin; I'm sure of that.”

Erin nodded but all she felt were knots of dread in her stomach. Every time she swallowed the taste of battery acid went down her throat. Marjorie’s hand only made her slightly less faint.

“Stephen should be here soon.” Marjorie said. “I tried to tell him not to worry too much but…”

“Yeah, believe me I understand.”

“Excuse me, Mrs. Douglas?” a young female doctor came down the hall.

“Yes.” Marjorie nodded and stood. Erin stood with her since she was still holding on.

“I'm Dr. Mishra. The Deputy Director is resting comfortably. We plan to sedate him so that he can sleep tonight but he refuses to go before seeing you.”

“Can you tell us what happened?” Erin asked.

Dave came back with two cups of weak ass tea and a poppy seed muffin. He was glad to see the doctor there.

“It was a mild myocardial infarction.” Dr. Mishra said. “We performed a battery of tests to assess the damage that may have been caused. Most likely we’ll perform an angioplasty later in the week. Right now rest is the most important thing.”

“Of course.” Marjorie nodded. “I’ll go and see him now.”

“I’ll take you to his room, Mrs. Douglas.”

“Give him all of my love.” Erin said.

“You know I will.” Marjorie followed the doctor down the hall.

Dave wrapped his arms around Erin and she lost it. She didn’t want to, held onto it by the skin of her teeth. As soon as he was holding her up, Erin fell. Her face pressed into his chest she cried and sobbed. Erin’s body shook but Dave didn’t let go. He just stroked her hair, whispering in her ear.

“He's going to be fine. Kirk is going to be fine and as soon as you see him you'll feel better. I know you're hurting. It’s OK to cry, just let it out.”

“Shut up.” Erin sobbed, gripping his shirt tighter.

“I will do that right now.”

She didn’t know how long she cried but Dave didn’t let go. Erin was putting herself back together when Marjorie returned to the waiting room.

“Erin?” 

“Yes ma'am?” she turned around. It was rather useless but she tried to wipe her face. She quietly thanked her husband when he gave her a handkerchief.

“He wants to see you.” Marjorie said.

“Is he…are there tubes and…?”

“No, just a heart monitor. Go on, he needs to get his rest.”

“Yeah.” Erin nodded. She squeezed Dave’s hand and walked slowly down the hall. Her eyes were closed for a few moments as she made his way to the room. His last name was taped to the door. Erin walked through the sliding glass door, which was open.

“Hey there kiddo.” Kirk smiled.

She didn’t mean to but Erin burst into tears again. She put the handkerchief over her mouth, it didn’t stop the sobs. Kirk held out his arms and she went over to his bed. Erin didn’t want to hurt him. She sat down on the edge of the bed, her forehead falling on his shoulder. Kirk put his arm around her.

“When you cry it kills me, kiddo, from the very first time.”

“Don’t say that.” Erin shook her head. “Don’t talk about anything killing you.”

“There's something else I need to say though. Happy birthday.”

“Are you OK?” she looked at him, wiping her face. It felt as if the tears would never stop falling. Erin was sure that she looked an absolute mess. Her voice also sounded like she was a little girl again. She was a scared little girl.

“I'm fine.”

“You had a heart attack. When Marjorie called me I thought I was going to lose my mind.”

“I'm going to be fine.” Kirk said. “I won't pretend a heart attack isn’t serious, but I'm a relatively healthy old man. Heart disease doesn’t run in my family. My father lived to 96. My grandfather lived to 92. Three of my four uncles lived well into their 80s so I'm pretty confident I have a good amount of time left on earth. I could be wrong but whatever time I have left I'm going to make the most of it.”

“I think I got another dog today.” Erin said.

“You used to hate dogs.”

“Hate is a strong word, though not entirely untrue. He's a mutt.”

“What did you name him?” Kirk asked.

“Scruff. I planned to take him to the pound but Dave told me that naming him means I'm not going to give him up.”

“He's right.” Kirk nodded.

“I don’t want to stay too long,” Erin held his hand. “You need your rest. But I don’t want to leave you.”

“I'm going to be fine.” He caressed her face. “My jacket is over on the chair. You birthday gift is in the inside pocket.”

“You managed to bring my gift to the hospital?”

“It was in my jacket when the thing happened. Go, go and get it.”

Erin didn’t want to get up from the bed. She didn’t want to let him go. She remembered how in Little Women Beth sent Jo to the window to close it and as soon as she had her back turned, Beth died. Erin cried so much watching that film; crying during movies wasn’t even her thing. 

She got up and went over to grab the jacket. Inside the pocket there was a manila envelope. Erin went back to the bed and opened it. There was a picture of a rapier on a velvet pillow.

“What is this?” she asked.

“It’s a rapier from the era of Catherine the Great. It recently went to auction at Christie’s. I wasn’t going to have it shipped, as it’s delicate. I was supposed to fly to New York this weekend and pick it up. Now…I'm thinking I can't do that.”

“Oh my God, are you serious? This is amazing. Kirk, how much did you…?”

“Oh no kiddo, we don’t talk about money. It’s your birthday and that’s all that matters to me. One more gift. Hurry before the man makes you leave.”

Erin nodded and pulled the black box from the envelope. She opened it and looked at the pocket watch. This gift was also antique, also beautiful.

“I love it.” She smiled. “I think you know me too well.”

“I couldn’t argue that fact. I know you don’t often wear slacks to the office but if you now you can wear this in your pocket.” He said.

“I'm going to wear them more often now, I promise.” Erin put her arms around him. “I love you so much, Kirk.”

“I love you too, kiddo. Don’t worry about me tonight. They're going to give me the good drugs and I’ll sleep like a baby. In the morning its more tests and I'm sure I’ll be home resting in the next few days.”

“I’ll be back to see you in the morning.” She said.

“I know. Give me another hug; it’s time to go.”

Erin nodded and hugged him. She didn’t want to leave but knew she had to. This was the hardest night that Erin had in a long time. There had been plenty of hard nights so that was saying something. Kirk kissed her cheek.

“Go home, and enjoy the rest of your birthday. Cuddle up with that new dog.”

“Dave gave him a bath so at least there's that. OK, I gotta go.”

“You gotta go, kid.” Kirk nodded.

“Promise not to die on me.” Erin cleared her throat. She didn’t want to say it but it was the only thing that came when she opened her mouth.

“Cross my heart and hope to…well, that would be kind of redundant.” He grinned.

“You're not funny.”

“I'm very funny. Coming up, the ladies were all enraptured by my wit.”

Erin kissed his cheek once more and then walked out of the room. Dave and Marjorie were in the waiting room; Stephen was now there as well. He stood and hugged Erin. She’d always been close with Kirk’s sons. There were five Douglas boys; Stephen, Brent, Andrew, Fletcher, and Peter was the baby. Peter died young of blood cancer but the others remained. 

All of the boys were devoted to their mother and father. They always called Erin the sixth Beatle, though she was older than all of them. She was as good as their sister. And once a Douglas man was committed to you, they stayed committed. Kirk had been like a surrogate father when hers was in New York and she was in DC. He became a second father when Erich Parkinson-Kane died years ago.

“How is he?” Stephen asked after kissing Erin’s cheek.

“He's awake; talking and being a smartass.” She replied.

“That’s Dad.” Stephen smiled.

“We’re going to go, Marjorie.” Erin hugged her. “I feel better knowing that Stephen is here with you.”

“Are you alright?” Marjorie asked.

“Don’t worry about me; I'm going to be fine.”

“Are you sure, Erin?” Marjorie pressed a bit. She’d known Erin, and her emotions, just as long as her husband had.

“Yes and no. Whatever happens, seeing him is going to help me get through until tomorrow.”

“Happy birthday sweetheart. I wish it would’ve been more festive.”

“He's alive and I'm hopeful he's going to be out of here in a few days. That’s the only present I need. I’ll be back in the morning before going to Quantico.”

“I knew that.” The older woman nodded.

Erin walked with Dave to the elevator. His arm was around her and she leaned on him. She thought there might be more tears tonight but maybe going home and cuddling with him and the dogs would be the best way to end the night. It had been a four day weekend of relaxation and fun, supposed to end in a birthday celebration with her favorite guy. So many things rarely went as planned these days.

“What's in the envelope?” Dave asked when the elevator doors closed in front of them.

“My birthday gift.”

“Kirk remembered to bring your birthday gift to the hospital?”

“It was in his jacket pocket. He said ‘it was in my jacket pocket when the thing happened’. Those were his exact words.” 

“How did he look?”

Dave’s favorite Uncle had a heart attack and was never the same. His was quite severe; double bypass surgery followed. It seemed that Kirk was better off. Hearts could be tricky little muscles in more ways than one though.

“He looked like Kirk.” Erin replied. “The only difference is that he looked really tired. I've known him for a long time. I know he's been tired but he's never looked tired.”

As a matter of fact, he always looked invincible. Kirk Douglas was always on the move. He was getting things done when most people were turning over in bed trying to get another hour of sleep. He was a power walker; swam twice a week. Erin never knew how he had all the hours in the day for his endeavors. Tonight she remembered that Kirk was human.

“Sometimes when the mind refuses to listen, the body puts you on your ass.” Dave said. “If anyone can use a real break, it’s Kirk. He's going to take one too, unless he wants to face the wrath of Hurricane Marjorie. When a woman loves you, trying to take care of you and you don’t listen…there are consequences.” The elevator door opened and they stepped off together. “I know from experience.”

“Really? Which one of your wives loved you enough to do that?” she glanced at him.

“None of them.” He replied smirking. “I was talking about my mother.”

***

Dave came out of the master bath and looked at his wife. She was in bed, propped against the pillows. Mudgie lay beside her, in Dave’s space, with his head on Erin’s lap. Scruff lay on the other side of her, his head on her knee.

“I just realized something.” He said.

“What's that?” Erin asked.

“I'm never going to fit in my bed again.”

“Aww, I think if you just ask sweetly.” She smiled.

“If Scruff has fleas or something, we’re all gonna be in trouble.”

“I think he's OK. He hasn’t scratched much since we’ve been home. Also, you can see fleas and I didn’t see anything on the bed. But he did have a nice time with a pillow in the den earlier. It was ripped to shreds.”

“And so it begins.” Dave moved over to the bed. “Oh, I meant to tell you…he is a she.”

“Really?”

“Mmm hmm.” He nodded.

“Is Mudgie fixed?”

“Yes, and I'm pretty positive that Scruff is too. No mutt retrievers in their future.”

Dave climbed under the blankets. Scruff jumped over both Erin and Mudgie, snuggling up close to him. He petted the mutt’s head. She was a light brown, like a lot of mutts. But her belly was nearly all white. So were her front and back paws and the tip of her tail. She had rather large pointed ears. She couldn’t have been more than 25 pounds, was probably lighter.

“We’ll get her all checked out at the vet tomorrow.” Dave said. “I'm also going to give you your birthday gift tomorrow at breakfast. It’s still downstairs on the kitchen table, along with a bottle of Moet that’s surely warm now.”

“What did you get me?” Erin reached for his hand. “I hope I don’t like it.”

“And what do I get if you do?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Don’t ever change, David Rossi. Promise me that.”

“I promise.” He held up his hand like a Boy Scout. “I want to hold my wife tonight.”

“And your wife wants to be held.”

“Alright guys, time to give us adults a little room.”

Both dogs looked at him but made no attempt to move. Dave looked at Erin.

“Mudgie, go to the bottom of the bed please.”

Without a second thought, the retriever got up and went to the bottom of the bed. Scruff seemed triumphant still lying at the top. Mudgie looked pitiful and rejected

“You too Scruffy.” Erin gently popped her bottom. “Go on, sweetie; sleep with Mudgie.”

“I can't believe that they don’t listen to me at all.” Dave said.

“I'm here all the time. They still love you, Dave. Well Mudgie does and Scruff will learn to. You're a pretty loveable guy.”

“I don’t like to brag,” he wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her lips. “But I am.”

“Mmm hmm.” Erin kissed him again.

“You alright, baby?”

“I think so. I know it’s silly for me to hover but if I could’ve stayed with him tonight, I would have.”

“I know.” Dave nodded.

“I'm glad I'm here with you though. I missed you.”

“Me too, Erin.”

“I'm wearing your tee shirt.” She said.

“I see that.”

“I'm not wearing anything else.”

“I feel that.” Dave’s hands moved to her hips.

“So what do you plan to do about it?”

“I actually have a few interesting ideas about that. Do you wanna hear them?”

“No.” Erin shook her head. She reached and turned out the lamp. “I have four other senses, Agent Rossi…take advantage of that.”

“Happy birthday to you, baby.”

***


End file.
